Through her eyes

They say I'm terrible in relationships. I really wanted to be with her. I want to prove the world wrong, and show them that I too am capable of loving another human being.

All alone I stand facing the world, drowning in fear and emotions. Vivid images fill my head at night. Dreaming of a world vicariously through another, or is it me?

Forgetting who I was yesterday and realizing who I am today. Another reality, another promise, another vision, another Me.

I understand my own reality quite well but fail to understand others. People estrange themselves from me because of this.

And this is where it leads........

She wanted to be with her. She was in a relationship that didn't make her happy. He beat all the sadness out of her. He took away everything she worked so hard for. But it was what Daddy wanted. Daddy wanted her to be with someone who had money. Daddy wanted her to be with someone like him. Immaculate, bright, and sharp from a distance. Nothing else really mattered.

He would never allow her to be with another woman. Morally wrong. Unscrupulous. It was completely unorthodox and unjust for any daughter of his.

But if only he could meet her, and see what she saw, he would change his mind.

Conforming was the right thing to do. It was what people expected from you, and it was the only way to be accepted. Everyone seeks acceptance. We awake every morning craving change, and facile solutions for our dully neglected lives; but with change comes judgement, so we reject it.

Making change work for you is allowing yourself to feel every moment, but our insurmountable fears of becoming a new person negate all possibilities for change.

They'll never accept who you are so just be what you are.

He wanted me to change several times, but she wouldn't let me. And still daddy prefers him in spite of our differences, and unrelenting anger.

Although a woman was able to cater to her emotional needs, she found it difficult to love her. Before she could be with another woman, she needed to understand the woman in herself.

By excluding men, are we as women rejecting the feminine aspects of ourselves?

But whenever she's far away, my feelings grow distant and all the emptiness in the world comes tumbling beneath me.

Everyone should confront loneliness at least once in their lives.

Should I pity myself?

There's no need to pity myself today for I'll only become another person tomorrow.