Trying to shake this feeling..feeling of loneliness. (subconscious mind-you're incapable of being alone; you're afraid because you think you are missing out on something)
You see the thing is...I really do love her, but I love me more. I tried to give her everything I had, but I felt like she just ran away with all of my stuff. Should I give it back to her? (subconscious mind- you should never allow anyone to have that much power over you.)
It hurts like hell. What hurts the most is not knowing if that person will still love you the same tomorrow. What is she thinking. I wonder if she is even thinking at all. Maybe she's at a standstill like me. (subconscious mind- you know she's thinking of you, why do you always need reassurance?)
I promised myself to write. I promised myself to write from the heart and never stop, anything to keep my mind occupied or off of her. Now I see what opening your heart to someone does to someone like me. All of the emotions come oozing out of my pores at once and then all of a sudden I lose control. Utterly lost and helpless because I can't seem to see what's inside of me, and this is what breaks down my nerves. This is what sends them flying in every direction. (subconscious mind- gain control of yourself; everything is going to be just fine).
If I can write at least one blog a day, at least then, I can think about being responsible for my own learning, instead of thinking about how miserable I am without her. Things just aren't the same anymore. Does she even care? You see, I have to ask myself that once or twice, so that I can remember how worthy I am. Why do I even need reassurance? (subconscious mind-maybe it's because you can't seem to pull the confidence from anywhere else). Subconscious mind- you know she does love you the best way she knows how.
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